hey guys. things are starting to look up for me :) i think it may be the warm weather that has me in a better mood but i'm not like ready to snap hahah which is good. i don't have that much homework tonight and then i have dance tonight too . tomorrow me and some friends are ushering at our schools play for our school's service club so we get to see the play for free ! saturday i have my last driving lesson and i get my permit ahhhh i'm so happy! i'll finally be able to drive places ( even though someone with a lisence has to be with me but...) . today i went to go pick up an application for a potential job and the lady actually asked me to fill it out on the spot so it seems like they're really desperate for help which is good for me hhah because i could definately use the money. its pretty much a daycare/ pre-k / kindergarten center and they need teachers aids for after school and people to help out at their summer camp and i figured it would be good because it only goes until 6 after school so its not like i'll be stuck there till like 10 or something. the only problem is they most likely want me to be there at 3 and i have no way of getting there because school ends at 2:45 for me so unless my dad picks me up right from school everyday then i'll never make it there in time but i'm sure if i get there at like 3:15 every day they won't mind that much but i better not get too far ahead of myself now because i don't officially have the job yet :p
so lately i've been on a taylor swift kick and my favoirte are white horse , you're not sorry , you belong with me and teardrops on my guitar. idk why but before i never really gave taylor that much credit but she's really talented and she sings her songs with alot of emotion too. oh and i also like tim mcgraw hahah. i desperately need to clean my room ! its like forming a mind of its own hahah . and i also have a newfound love for tyler hilton after watching her teardrops on my guitar video :) i got the twilight movie on dvd and i watched it once ! boy do i love robert pattinson! i know some of you guys don't really care for him but c'mon the guy isn't totally horrible ;) he pretty much the reason why i even like the series so much but don;t wrroy i don't like stalk im or anything hahah so i'm gonna go all twilight on your asses and put up a few pictures :) bear with me . loveee you guys and i hope all is well ! blessings !
btw here's some things that i've been likeing lately, enjoy :)
favorite pictures of the day:
favorite quotes of the day:
the The boy saw a comet & suddenly his life had meaning. And when it went away he waited his entire life for it to come back to him. It was more than just a comet because of what it brought into his life. Direction, beauty, meaning. There were many who couldn't understand, & sometimes he walked among them, but even in his darkest hours he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him & his world would be whole again, &his belief in God,&love, & art would be reawakened in his heart. - One Tree Hill
You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your true love? - One Tree Hill
today school was pretty uneventful. most of the grade was on an ap history field trip so there was like 6 people in all my classes. the weather has gotten warmer and i wore a dress to school today :) I can't wait until its summer! this memorial day weekend me and three of my friends are going to my one friend's lakehouse! i'm so excited , its like a mini vacation and we go out on her boat, go tubing and tan etc. basically everything that i'm dying to do haha. i can't wait to go spring clothing shopping! i always feel so guilty spending money lately because my mom has been having financial troubles and not to get too into detail basically we're spending the money faster we can get it into the bank and its just put a strain on our financial situation. but considering i'm going to get a job i'll have some spending money for sureeee.
i think i'm going to rearrange my room today , i'm getting sick of it hahah. tomorrow the temperature is going to drop which is so dissappointing because it was like 60 degrees today .
so i literally haven't been on here in a really long time. i guess you can call it an unofficial hiatus? well now i'm in the mood to write again & hopefully i didn't miss too much! i'll try to read up on everyones weblogs sometime this week (although it probably won't be till the weekend) so heres a pretty good update of like my life right now haha
school
my grades in math are slowly dropping and its so frustrating because i try so hard! sunday night was my first session with my tutor and i have another one on thursday and sunday and it seems to be helping. its just so annoying because i don't deserve the grades i'm getting because I put forth my best effort! last week i was absent for 3 days because i was mega-sick and it sucked because i'm still making up work from it. i have to make up a math test tomorrow and american studies today :/ which means i miss two days of lunch! chem is being a pain in the ass because we're doing binomial nomenclature and it barely makes sense to me. maybe if i didn't have to make up a friggin math test during lunch tomorrow i could actually go in for extra help!
sports etc.
so i decided to quit lacrosse because i just hated it so much and basically i was going to get cut so i just quit. its such a relief! i hated it too much to even try anymore haha. so now i need to get a job somewhere in town which shouldn't be very hard
friends
my friends are still being really annoying sometimes and they just do little things that piss me off. like i don't even mind sometimes if i'm grounded because then i have an excuse for not hanging out with them haha. its not that i hate them or dislike all of them. me and my 3 best friends are good , its just they're so immature that its embarassing and i don't know how to go out about hanging out with them when they create middle school drama and we're sophomores.
family
me and my parents have no been getting along at all! they're so annoying! they just don't understand anything i say i just can't relate to them at all and all my mom does is NAG NAG NAG about the stupidest things. like theres more important things in life than me not putting my straightening iron away or not taking my dog out at the exact right time. its just so frustrating. my dad is just whatever and since he doesn't live with me i only see him on the weekends sometimes which is fine but i hate going with him. its like i'm 16 i need time to juts be! sometimes i want to be bored! i never have time to just be lazy anymore!
loveeee
so my love life is basically non existent. i really need to get back in the game here . i've met 0 guys literally and i just want someone even if its not longterm. in case you didnt know i haven't had my first kiss yet which is sooo annoying because i consider myself attractive. i mean i take care of myself and i think i'm in average/good shape so idk what the problem is!
right now i'm just biding my time until its summer. I CAN'T WAIT! its gonna be awesome! i can't wait to just stay out late , go to the beach , walk the boardwalk , go by the ocean at night , get tan , wear a bathing suit and eat ice cream :) basically i live for 2 months out of the whole year , the other 10 are just keeping me busy lol. i'm glad to be back and writinggg !
so pretty much today sucked hahah . my grades have really been slipping and i'm considering not doing lacrosse because i'm not much of an athlete, i need to focus on my schoolwork and i really need a job because i keep spending too much money and i want to start saving up for a car/ putting some $$$ in the bank.
school was relatively normal today besides the fact that we didn't change for gym because of hspa's . it sucks for the juniors that have to take them it seems really annoying haha. i think my phone is broken ! its so annoying it keeps turning off on its own i need to take it back to the verizon store and get it checked out.
last night me and my mom got into a huge fight and i just like lost it! she can be so annoying sometimes and irraatonal like i seriously feel like half the time i have more sense than her. i mean she provides for me and i know she loves me but we definately don't have the best of relationships most of the time. sometimes i just can't wait to go to college because i just need space. it'll be so convenient to go because i'll be able to set my own rules and guidelines. i know college isn't like some fanatasy life but i can go out whenever my classes allow it, i can eat whatever i want, i can stay up as late as i want, i can wear whatever i want! i want to go someplace within driving distance from nj this way i can get home easily if i want to. i was considering marist, penn state , bu , bc , ithaca. basically somewhere in the lower new england area lol. ok i'm gonna finish the rest of my hw so i can even get in to college ;)
so i actually haven't been on here since last month which like isn't good because i pretty much use this site to get all my thoughts sorted out whether people read them or not. so right now i should probably be doing my hw but whatever. lacrosse starts this friday and i'm so SCARED. i have actually never been this nervous in my whole life like holy cow i feel like i might puke!i'm just gonna pray everything goes ok. so on friday me and a bunch of my friends went to the mall and we were all sitting around eating dinner at the food court . all of a sudden this guy comes up and he looks to be about our age , fairly attractive and he goes "don't think i'm like a creep or anything but my friends dared me to come over here and talk with you guys for at least five mins" . so we're all just sitting here and we like welcome him to our table and we start interrogating him and like his life and stuff and he's sitting there for probably 10 mins. then we get up and leave and make our way over to his friends. some of my friends sit down and starting talking to the guys and we find out they're frosh and everything and they seem relatively nice. i leave with a few others to run to forever 21 and some stay at the the table talking with them. then we meet up with the rest of my friends and we ask about where the guys went and everything and my one friend told me that they were going to come shopping with us but my friends accidentally shut them down and was like "it was nice meeting you" . so we just go on our way and are like whatever , while hoping we like see them again. so some of us go to one store while the others go to another store and to make a long story short we see the guys again. so they come up and start talking to us and are like "do you want to walk around" so we're like sure whatever it'll be nice to get to know you guys and whatnot (considering the majority of them were pretty good looking). so we meet up with all of our friends and they all have an angry look on they're faces or they're laughing histerically. apparently they didn't want to talk to these boys again even though only an hour before they regretting not talking to them more so me and my friend hypothesized that we were the only ones with enough sense to talk to these possible new friends while everyone else just wanted to run away scared.
i never understand why people don't act on their emotions half the time like there was no harm in talking to these people , it wasn't like we were going to become like bffs or something rediculous . we just wanted to get to know them because they seemed nice enough. some people confuse me because half my friends were annoyed we like met up with these boys.
but anyways my one friend who i'll call "edie" is being so annoying lately. you might think this is just like petty drama but its enough to really get under your skin. so edie has been so rude lately. she's been bossing everyone around , making everyone feel inferior and belittling everyone. ITS SO FRUSTRATING. all i want to do is shake her and tell her that she herself isnt like the greatest person ever AHHHHH ITS SO STUPID. it wouldn't bother me if she didn't do it constantly! hopefully everything will work out or i just might snap!
this saturday is my friends awesome 80s prom sweet 16 where we go to the show in new york and its like a fake prom with actors playing the jock , the nerd , the cheerleaders etc. and they like interact with the audience it seems really fun so we're all dressing up in 80-esque prom dresses and i'm so pumped! i was kinda restricted from getting anymore dresses for a while but i found one at wet seal for $10 so i got it :) i would probably never buy this dress besides for this occassion lol. i couldnt find a picture that shows the back but the bow is really really big!
i also got these lace tights from forever21
now i just need shoes (preferably hot pink) and i'm wearing chinky jewelry and pealrs. and i'm teasing my hair too . ok like longest post of my life right heree !
